Greetings, RCs! Welcome to Harvard Business College School! Here is a helpful guide to surviving your first few weeks on campus, as contributed by some successful ECs that we have recruited to re-educate inform you!
CLASSES, by Steven Stressful
I cannot impress upon you enough how important it is to read every single case at least once. Preferably once skimming, and a second-time for deeper dives. You must do write-ups for each case. It is helpful to share your write-ups in your discussion group and maybe even the entire class, as this contributes to the broader goal of education – learning. Since the policy is unclear, I typically defer to common sense. You’ll learn more in LCA, I think (I got a 3).
When it comes to classroom etiquette, I found that a few key success factors really drove my performance and likeability within the section. First, always raise your hand. No matter what. This displays persistence and preparation to professors and classmates alike. Second, strive to speak at least once a class. Consistency is critical, and ask any aspiring Baker Scholar – professors value quantity over quality any day. Lastly, case discussions can be quite demanding, so you should try to refuel constantly. I suggest scrambled eggs (morning session), potato chips (yum!), and multiple (!!) bananas.
FACILITIES, by Anusha Architect
Did you know? Each Aldrich classroom has an incline at exactly 18.3 degrees. Wormdeck is reserved for the coolest people that nobody knows are cool, while the Skydeck is reserved for the 20 coolest people who think they’re even cooler than they are (Admissions is SUPER good at assessing you during interviews). In between, the Garden Deck (isn’t it nice down there?), Power deck (eye level with the profs), and warning track (getting closer to the back…) are all pretty standard. The best seat in the house is Air Traffic Control (under the clock in Skydeck), while the worst seat is the Doorman (Wormdeck near the door).
Welcome to the Hives! The administration boasted about fitting the entire design planning and construction of the building into only nine months, and it sure shows. Basically, the hives are a series of rooms with tables and chairs in them and exposed pipes (so REAL!) overhead a revolution in pedagogical theory, which will change the face of business education as we know it. Ignore the smooth jazz and ambient lighting. You will be amazed at how the environment inspires creativity and collaboration amongst classmates.
PARTIES, by Salia Sponsored-Consultant
OMFG, ya’ll. I wasn’t even AT this party and even I know how bomb it was. Held at Boston’s hottest club, last year had EVERYTHING. Masks. Cereal bars. ECs. This year’s party promises to blow last year’s out of the water. We’re talking powdered wigs, Dubstep, stallion horses with skates on, and Michael Chang sweaters all on one dance floor. The pre-sale tickets sold out in 20 seconds, so you’ll have to know someone in the Euro Club leadership to get you in for free. For everyone else, it’s $35 if you’re lucky, and $15 if you wait until the day-of to buy a ticket in the Facebook after-market.
And don’t worry, the party is invitation only, so no one you or a self-selected group of societal “elites” don’t think is cool will be there to ruin your night. FINALLY! Harvard Business School encourages an inclusive environment.
If you’re looking for a normal Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday night bar sesh, look no further than Daedalus. Or Tommy Doyle’s. Or John Harvard’s (just kidding about John Harvard’s). The Bus Stop is for the adventurous, but let’s face it, why pay $3 for beer when you can pay $7 at OM?
ROMANCE, by Raimundo Romantico
By the end of the year, each section will have one, sometimes two couples in true love. This could be you! In order to maximize your chances, I suggest: attend every single section event. Drink only red wine. Wear a button-down oxford shirt and slowly – subtly – undo one button at a time over the course of the night (or class). And above all – go to the Kong. Always – every time – scorpion bowl race. Trust me on this one.
Best kept dating secret? Study in the Spangler Reading Room. Be sure to wear heels or sexy football cleats so that you make an auditory impression on your potential mates.
Join the Euro Club and pre-register for every single party. At least 45% of HBS romances begin with a precious “blackout makeout” (BOMO in HBS lingo) in a cab back from Estate.
RECRUITING, by Henry Hedgefund
It is imperative that you begin recruiting immediately. Each conversation is a single step in a journey of at least 10, potentially 20 thousand steps. Once you secure your dream internship (do, or do not – there is no try), you should be sure to knock your 10-week* stint out of the park. If you do not make an immediate impact on the world, reconsider your life plans by sobbing uncontrollably with your Career Coach. It worked for me.
* I know what you’re thinking: why do 10 weeks when you can do 12? Fair. VERY fair. But what would summer be without at least two week-long vacays? Ibiza and Mykonos are solid go-to’s, even if no one goes to Pacha anymore. And then there’s the obligatory time share in the Hamptons, without which you mean nothing to me, and probably less to your coworkers. Remember: East Hampton = old money/ultra rich; West Hampton = yuppies/new money; Southampton = people with money who want to be seen. Don’t even consider anything else.
APOLOGY, by The Harbus
We immediately retract most of what was mentioned above. For realz, here’s our advice: read the cases, engage in class discussions by learning how to listen, marvel at the facilities, and have fun but don’t worry about FOMO. Explore your options. Question yourself, your professors, your classmates, the administration, your career coach, and most importantly, THE MAN. Question everything. Use this amazing time to stretch yourself. And definitely eat at the Kong. And “like” us on Facebook, that’s really important.