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The Harbus Most Eligible 2014


Section A

Santiago Padilla

What is your best attribute? Probably my elbows because I shaved my moustache.

What is your pre-date ritual? My pre-date ritual is pretty standard. I wake up at 6 AM, do nine noisy pushups and five squats, and eat three raw eggs. Then I go running for 5.6 kms., with my old coach following me slowly in a red pickup truck and shouting lovely and encouraging phrases at me like “Common you stupid idiot” or “You’re dead to me you bastard”. After a quick cold shower, I eat three more raw eggs and take a long nap because I got up very early and I’m tired from all the raw egg eating. When I wake up, I immediately put on the song “Making my way downtown” and I dance like there is no tomorrow. I shower again, but this time it’s with hot water, and I stand in the shower stream with my forehead angled towards the showerhead and with my eyes closed for at least 19 minutes pondering and solving all of life’s great mysteries. When I open my eyes, I sing in a voice akin to Pavarotti’s. Unfortunately, it is around this moment that I notice that all my skin is wrinkled up and I realize that I’ve lost track of time again and I am late for everything in the world.

What’s the most romantic spot on campus? My favorite spot, and definitely the most romantic, is revealed right after you take the tunnels of love that open up at the sexy FedEx shipping office under and between Spangler and the iLab. Although underground, it is especially beautiful during the sunset, when you can imagine the sun just going down over the horizon like it usually does in the afternoons just before nighttime. I recommend going after Tony, the clerk, gets off his shift, because he likes to watch and it gets weird and much less romantic (unless you’re into that in which case I’m totally cool with it too but you should tell me so I can let Tony know).

What’s the most effective pick-up line you’ve ever used/heard? You look like I need a drink.

What are you looking for in a prospective romantic partner? On average, I prefer women who understand what the tag symbols on clothes mean and are proficient in moonwalking. Also, huge plus if you are M. Fetter. No wait, that’s too obvious. Let’s just call her Marissa F.

Marissa Fetter What is your best attribute?I’m a great audience – I’m not especially funny but I definitely think you are What is your pre-date ritual? Wait…you’re telling me HBS girls get asked out on proper dates?? What’s the most romantic spot on campus?  Anywhere near Santiago Padilla What’s the most effective pick-up line you’ve ever used/heard?  “I’m really glad I didn’t swipe left!”  What are you looking for in a prospective romantic partner?  In the short term, knowledge in BGIE would be great… Any deal breakers?  Not agreeing that my nephew is the cutest kid on the planet Love is…  Never having to wear heels Section BMike Donovan

What is your best attribute? I know everything about baby products without being a father. Well, as far as I know for the latter. Oh, and Blue Steel. What is your pre-date ritual? Yodeling in my Lederhosen. Like all Austrians. What’s the most romantic spot on campus? My apartment. IKEA-charm never fails. What’s the most effective pick-up line you’ve ever used/heard? Can’t tell. For me they all work 95% of the time, all the time. Ask NJ. What are you looking for in a prospective romantic partner? Nothing special. She only needs to be extremely smart and adorably cute, has to have a great character, stunning good looks and most importantly, a really, really wicked sense of humor. Any dealbreakers? Yes, if she wears more beard than I do. Finish this sentence: Love is…… all you need! Besides espresso, maybe. Who’s the most eligible of them all? We need YOU to decide! Browse our stellar nominees, then use our anonymous survey to vote for the most eligible man and woman at HBS. Voting closes at midnight this Thursday, February 27. https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/7J2XVTZ

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